HANDS OF LOVE - PART - 20 - "TERELIYE"

Dedication to : All the readers of my blogs..........., The Majestic performing art - Kathakali

“Kamdev,you are the GOD of cores of feelings, and emotions…Can u tell me, among all these, which one is perennial…..?” One day Narada asked  his younger brother………

 The question prompted Kamadev to think for a while….Then he replied “Prabhu,each feeling and emotion has its own importance in human being’s life…..But it varies from individual to individual….The human being is bound to either ignore,forget or being concerned with many of those, which makes the feelings/emotions either be stronger or  be weaker as he grows older…..Its always hard to give an exact answer to your query….But, from my point of view, it is the feeling “ missing ” which looks perennial…Coz it haunts the human mind throughout….Though “missing” contributes well to the mental development to accept the life as it is, many a times, it adversely affect the basic emotional stability too ….The said feeling also complements to the growth of  detachment towards everything, but ironically attaches the human being towards it…Interestingly, he searches the solace in missing…He experiences the illusion of togetherness and joy…. And….the illusion of caring and happiness….When the human life itself is an illusion,there is nothing great in obsessed to feeling of missing…Nevertheless, he caresses it continuously…Holding it close to heart, he lives and the more he lives, the deeper would be “ missing ” and the sharper would be the pain..….”

Hearing the reply, without spelling anything Narada slowly moved away from there……….

 TERE LIYE Begins from here…………….

 Resting my back on the chair, I tried to relax….Two days and nights of grueling presentations and brainstorming discussions severely affected my physical health…The month was Feb 2008….Previous two nights, infact I didn’t sleep at all….The year ending performance analysis, deficiencies, corrections, next year’s plans….all made the life hectic at Taj Mahal Palace and Tower – Mumbai….Since the return flight was delayed by three hours,I reached back to Cochin office straight from the airport.….It was a Thursday…

The time was around 4 evening….The downward resilience level reminded to avail a leave for the next day….I earnestly wished to sleep for long hours… I knew, that Niladri was waiting me impatiently….My cell began to ring….

“ Aditya….” Boss’s sound resonated….

“ Yes Ji…”

“ An urgency….Reach Chennai by morning….Pankaj Malik is coming along with the newly joined Editor In Chief for business division….Btr catch an early morning flight .But you can return back by a late night one ….”

“ Is it a must? You know, I haven’t slept during the last two nights…..and………”

“ Don’t you know that me too missed it?.....Our life is like that…You are on the verge of a promotion and you should accommodate things in the best possible way…..ok? prepare another presentation with the points that we have discussed  in Mumbai…Dress code is compulsory for tomorrow’s meeting….Don’t reach here in jeans and later run to change it…”

“ Ya….”

Alas…..I have to rework the whole presentation, then drive 60 kms to home, then start by early 2.30, drive another 90 kms to Cochin International Airport, reach Chennai and that too in the specific dress code,present the whole plans,discuss, finally catch the late night flight, and drive again 90 kms back to reach home…..I have to perform all these with a tired body after continuous 48 hrs of work……..But as my boss had replied, better accommodate everything…..

I contacted niladri over cell……..

“ Hue…..”

“ Yes boss….am waiting you…any plans to reach home today or another globe trotting is on cards?”

“ Both are true…”

“ Oh My GOD…”

“ Am reaching home only by around 10 night coz I have to rework the whole presentation with latest updates which take around two hours, then catch early morning flight to Chennai …But I will be back by tomorrow night itself- Promise….”

“ Oh..that is too much Aditya………”

“ That’s three much honey,coz I should be present in perfect dress code too…Choose one pair as u wish…and keep it ready.”

“But how can u drive during early hours…? Ie too with out any proper sleep ? Can you please arrange either a taxi or a driver ? Y can’t u check with Sanjeev? perhaps his driver can help…”

“ Lemme try..before that I have to reserve the fight tickets…Ok??…so do what I have told …”

“I am terribly upset Aditya…..I never expected this”

“ Ie life baba……carry on….catch you in another 4 hrs time…”

I searched the web and reserved the tickets…..The fingers moved fast from one figure to another and from one page to next to complete the new version of presentation….In the mean time,tried to contact Sanjeev’s driver who promised to reach my home by early 2’O clock..…..

Reaching home late,I was utterly tired….Getting up early in the morning and making tomorrow another hectic one looked leathal..But I was left with no options….

Woke up by around 2 early, I finished the bath….Since brahmamuhurtha starts only by around 3.30, I didn’t sit for the routine prayer…Waited for Sanjeev’s driver till 2.30 who failed to turn up….Niladri was very much worried….It was raining lions and tigers….After scrambling into the dress code of mild pink shirt, a dark Pink tie and finally a black suit,I moved towards the car and finally left.....

Early hours travel was never recommended because of the complex nature of risk….But, of late I was forced to do so……Touching a speed of 80KM/Hr, the car moved fast down the four lined national high way….After crossing nearly 30 kms, the rain halted finally….Switching off the AC, I opened the window to breath the fresh air….Time was around 3 early…My flight was scheduled to leave at 5.40….means I had enough time to relax and drive…..The speed slowed down to 50KM/Hr….I switched off the stereo….Perfect silence brood all over there…..Suddenly,from somewhere I heard a feeble sound of a pada flowing without any interruption……..

“ Kande njan nikade nine

kalivakku thava kette njan”

( Hey beautiful girl, I have not only seen but heard your sweet voice too”)

“Was it a dream or a hallucination???….Parking the car near road side, I tried to concentrate again…… 

“ Kande njan nikade nine

kalivakku thava kette njan”

Yes…..I was not dreaming…..somewhere , in somewhere, the mightiest art Kathakali was being performed and that too…the story was” Nalicharitha”..( the story of Nala )…., which was once , almost eleven years back performed in many stages by me and my close friend Parvathy Nambissan, together………

I drove the car towards the direction from where the raga was flowing out…It took another two kms drive to the left of N.H…..In a temple ground,around twenty people congregated together….Most of them were seen lying down on the sand and sleeping…On the stage, an old man , in the costumes of the King Nala,was seen, desperately trying to express the romance to another old man who was in the costumes of Damayanthi, Nala’s romantic partner and wife in the story….

Forgetting the fact that I was in a suit.,I neared the stage…. Transferring the body weight on a pillar, I stood there….The artists who were performing on the stage stared at me…. Unfortunately, instead of a sequence of romantic mudras, I witnessed the utter ex-pressions of poverty,pain and life’s miseries…..

“ Oh God, this is too much..This is pity…….such  romantic padams are literally being subdued by  pathetic ex-pressions ” I lamented myself……..

Suddenly, I felt like some one standing behind….The sound of the mild breath was audible to ears….The heat of it drizzled on my shoulder…In the very next moment,cuddling me, two hands stretched forward and held mine….The middle finger of the left hand of that unknown person was decorated with a gleaming diamond ring…A female sound whispered in my right ear…” Why the pada of finest feelings doesn’t have an atma now?.....why it is being replaced with melancholy??………Pushing the hands apart, I twirled…But none was found there………My eyes searched all over…….Was it a surreal…?.....

An old man was seen walking towards me….Though he asked something,ignoring it,I moved towards the car……..The mind was slowly turning back to unfold the memories again……

Around 11 years back …me, at the age of 25…..The venue was Payyannur Kathakali club….The date was January 14 th 1997…..It was a performance along with Parvathy Nambissan after a gap of almost one year…I was about to complete my Post Grduation in Management at Bangalore and she was in her first semester MBA with Symbaosis – Pune….The two severe back to back hamstring injuries forced me to give up Table Tennis for ever…….

While Parvathy came Payyannur direct from Pune, I first reached Calicut , the house of my uncle and aunt who contributed much to my Kathakali learning and performing days…..Though doctors by profession, they were unfortunately not blessed with a kid…..I was always treated as their own child…..I held strong determination to learn the legendric art Kathakali from the age of five….From different destinations of the globe,I reached my uncle’s home at Calicut which was just 80 kms away from Kalamandalom….Almost fifteen years,I commuted between Kerala Kalamandalom and Calicut during the annual holidays,along with aunt….Most of the nights, while coming back to Calicut from Kalamandalom,I rested my tired body over her shoulder…More than anyone else,it was she, who strained like me during those days…….

My uncle waited in railway station to pick me up….While alighting from the car,reaching me, aunt held my hands….

“ Missing u so much my son”….she told in a mellifluous voice….

I tried to smile….I was feeling unrest in informing her about another decision of my life….Though I had successfully convinced my parents, brothers and later my uncle - while coming down from the railway station, convincing aunt seemed  tough...

“ Thinking of something? Be a happy kid, you are with Parvathy Nambissan and again on the stage…..”Kande Njan nikade nine…..kalivakku thava kette njan” Caressing my long hair, she sung a padam of Kadakali…..

“ Mom….” I addressed……..

“ Yes beta..bolo….kya huwa?” looking at me , she asked……….

I turned the face to uncle……

“ Aare,Varmaji what happened? Why Aditya is looking so bizarre? She asked to hubby, or to my uncle, Dr Rama Varma Raja.

“Subhadra, Aditya is leaving the stage for ever….The back to back hamstring injuries are forcing him to leave Kathakali..He is bit uncomfortable to tell you coz you have been with him from the age of five.…”

Aunt kept silence for a while……Then looking at me she whispered…….

“ This is not a shock to me….Infact,I have been expecting this one day….Infact from the day when you told me that you wont be playing Table Tennis at any level because of hamstring…..while at Mumbai, when you were admitted in the hospital, we had a detailed discussion with an expert in sports medicine.Since we both belonged to medical profession, the expert took special care in detailing us about various sports related injuries and their consequences too…”

After pausing for a minute, she continued….” Yet, I have been continuously praying to give you strength to overcome it….I knew that, you wont be able to spare enough time from your studies…But I wished to seen you on stage once in a while….” She bemoaned………..

I envisaged the rising crescendo of emotions in her…..As my uncle had stated, she had been following me from one stage to another….She was a grown up tree where me, a little branch always soothed in love and care…..

“ Mom…do you feel bad at me ?”Nearing her, I asked…….

“ No ……I don’t……..” nodding the head, she gestured….

“I am learning the art of leaving everything like each human being….Sometimes I feel that, its happening to me a bit early…though the universal truth is nothing is earlier or late…….” the words crumbled….

Tilting the face towards me , she mumbled….” I can feel you and your passion too…..It is always good to accept the life as it is, rather trying to define the outcomes….Aditya, have you informed your parents, brothers, Your fiancée Niladri and friend Parvathy about this?”

“ Except to Parvathy, I informed everyone……..”

‘ Why not to Parvathy”?

“Will do it after today’s performance…..Otherwise, she wouldn’t turn up for the day….”

“ You have shared a number of stages with her…You should have informed her earlier..” She muttered……….

“Yes…But….”…I floundered…

“Any way,….Along with her, are you playing the same Nalacharita tonight?

“ No, It’s a different subject….Sudama ( Kuchela ) and Krishna…the meeting of Kuchela and Krishna at Dwaraka after may years….and incidentally Parvathy was blessed to chip in the role of Kuchela…..I don’t have much to perform in the costumes of Krishna….Its just two hours of performance only….”

“ At what time should we start?” I asked her………..

Instead to reply, she was seen contemplating something……..Then in broken words she replied………“ Aditya,I wont be attending your performance today…You know, grandma is here, down with old age diseases, so I have to be with her….Again, I don’t wish to watch you with a statement of a last stage….. Yet, I wish to see you in the costume …Don’t remove it until you reach here….I will …I will…….wait…….”Her eyes brimmed with tears……

The day seemed fading fast…….

Evening, at the mighty Payyanuur Kathakali club…The crowd was so majestically honored with those who were well versed in the subject….. The performances continued from morning onwards….

 In the green room along with few,we too – me and Parvathy lay down for the make up………

“ After almost a year and ie too in new roles? Aditya, are you so bored with Nalacharitha?….. I never expected the role of Sudama here..I was longing to comeback to stage in the costumes of Damayanthi again…But I accept the role of Sudama coz its unique to me”…She muttered…….

“ Good to you……” I replied….

“ Ie all”?

“ More news is in the queue, but only after  the performance”

“ Hmm….anything great?”

“ Only u have to evaluate”

“ Making me curious?”

“ Why should I limit it to the word “ curious” ? its something bigger……..”

“ Why cant you tell me now? Why you wanna fix up a time for that?....

 A frisson of excitement is running through my mind…………”

“ Wait for another 4 hours, In the mean time,I wish to recollect the mudras….”

“You are lacking the proper practice now a days…I know that…”….Keeping silence for few minutes, she asked….”So today your mudras would be of compassion and love?” …….

“Ya…..another level of romance……….”

“Means ”?

“ Compassion and love are deeply routed to true romance…..Don’t you know that?…”

“ Wow, ie a new info to me………”

“ Try to use it”

“ Who are performing in the place of our Kande njan?”

“ Two trainees from kalamndalom….”

“ Do you know them?”

“ How can I?…..Don’t you know that am away from Kerala for the last two years?”

“Our’s is scheduled as the the last ….?”

“No, after that one more will be there…..Its of those trainees…”

 While she continued to ask questions, I pondered over the ways to inform her about the decision…I knew, sharing more than 50+ stages, how much she would feel on hearing it………..

By around 9 night, we moved towards the stage…as usual, Parthy rose to the versatile level of performance thus by pulling the audience to lured into her.They have become oblivious to the surroundings….Her face reflected the subtle bhavas and the mightiest navarasas…The scope for me to perform was very much limited….Though I was also a part on the stage in the costume of Krishna,my job was confined to witness the wonderful girl Parvathy Nambissan………

Two hours on the stage went past……….

We came back to the green room………The artists for the final performance left to the stage for preparations……….

“You seemed a bit out of mood….what happened?…….”While changing the costumes,she asked me ………

“ Can you tell me , in how many stages we performed together”?…. Ignoring the question, I asked …..

“ Why, The king Nala has lost the simple memory?”

“No man, I am asking you very seriously…..I am sure that, it is Fifty Plus but can u tell me the exact number?”

“ Maharaj, today is our 69 th one …Shall celebrate the 100 th in style….”?

“ 100 th one ? well..…but before that, if I tell you something, do you fell bad?”

“ No Guarantee, depends on the subject………Why suddenly King is getting emotional?……”

“ I am not …rather I am relaxed now….I will, for sure, feel much more relaxed if you hear me , and respond with composure……..”

“ Agreed….Tell me…” she asked…….

I slowly neared her…….keeping my eyes on her exquisite face, I whispered…

“ May I inform you that the just concluded one was my last, which marks  the end of our journey, together on stage”?……….

That was more than manageable to her….A shell shocked Parvathy Nambissan failed to manage the emotions ….her throat horsed….. and body shivered………

” Means”?….She tried to swallow the rising pain under the neck….

“ Means….I will not come back to the stage again….I had been thinking of leaving the stage for the last few months…..Because of the nursing of perennial hamstring injury,my body is not fit for hours long performances….and I cant find much time to spare for practice during the studies….” I replied calmly……

Bending the head down,she became silent….She was infact trying to adjust herself with the unexpected news…..Finally tilting the face towards me she asked….

“ Have you informed Niladri about this?”

“Yes……..”

“ Have you informed your parents, your brothers Bharath , Harsh, your Aunt and  Uncle….”?

“ Yes……….”

“ So…..so………so you have informed everyone close to you even before today’s programme, but not to me….” Gazing at me,she fumbled in crushed voice…….Her face benumbed with cold…………

Nearing her I confessed….“ It was not intentional….Had I informed you earlier, I was sure that you wouldn’t have reached here…….I really wanted to leave the stage with your spirited presence…Am sorry if I hurt …” I held her hands into mine…and slowly caressed on her glittering diamond ring……….

“So our journey is finished…isn’t it? Have we reached the destination?………”Enveloped in pain, she threw a question…….

“Irrespective of the destination, every journey has to be concluded one day…” I tried to calm her down……….

“ I haven’t learned to answer in the most detached way that you always use…….”…..she sobbed……..

Tilting the face upward, she darted a painful look at me…..Her heart beat sounded high….and she began to sweat…..

“ Please don’t feel bad at me…, at any stage of life…” I whispered to her……

Instead to answer,…her mournful eyes continued to peel me……

“I have kept a special gift for you……”

“Do you think that a special gift will sooth me?….She retorted….

Opening the bag, I took the crown of King Nala which I had been wearing for years on the stage….

“ Do you remember this”? I asked her slowly……….

Instead to answer, she  kept the crumbling hands on it…..

”Along with you,I had been wearing this crown in more than fifty stages in the costumes of King Nala….We have narrated the art of passion, love, affection, romance,Pain and Parting as Nala and Damayanthi where this throne witnessed and rated each and every performance…...Since I have decided to leave the stage, I don’t wish to carry anything which reminds me of the stage….I feel you are the best custodian to keep it…………” I muttred…….

“ Handing over the crown of Nala will help you to forget the stage?.,…Pausing for a while, tilting the face,she fibbed…“Can you fulfill a simple wish…..now……..?”

“ Please …I will try ……..”

Carrying the crown in hands, she whispered…“ Can you wear it again?” her sound began fading away…….

From the stage, the romantic padams of Nalacharia touched the threshold……

“ Kande njan nikade nine

kalivakku thava kette njan”

( Hey beautiful girl, I have not only seen but heard your sweet voice too”)

Sitting on a chair ,I took the throne……For the first time in life, I felt my own smell on it…After removing the crown of Krishna, I wore it on my head…….and finally  stood up…….

Standing near, Parvathy stared me….Her eyes suddenly glittered….The face continuously reflected the falling of feelings in heart….Without any blinking,she stood like a statue….

Her painful look tugged at my heart strings………

“ I don’t think that I can travel from here that too alone, at least on the stage………” In a determined but crushed voice,she  whispered…….Her wet eyes traversed from my head to  face…….Holding both hands, I bowed her…..and  closed the eyes……

From the stage, the raga of romance and passion continued to float….Without muttering a word, Parvathy finally decamped……Keeping the throne of Nala in the bag, I moved towards the stage…Sitting on the knee…..I bend down….

” Majestic Art, I have deep indebtness towards you throughout my life….Irresistible passion too…...”A drop of tear rolled and fell down……..”……..

Arranging the crown to hand over to her, without changing the costumes, I sat in the car…….My twenty years of untiring practice finally reached the dead end………Being brutally honest to the art,leaving the stage was never an easy decision…..It was my passion and breath too…….I tried to relax among the feelings of many-my family’s, aunt’s, uncle’s, Niladri’s, Parvathy’s and finally my own….

The car reached Calicut after midnight..Time was around 1’O clock early….I knew, that my aunt was waiting to see me in the costumes again……..

“ Mom……” Moving forward, I hugged her…….

“ Well Aditya,……” she bemoaned again……

After sparing few minutes with her……I went upstairs where my grandma was down with old age diseases…..

“ Krishna……”She whispered…….

“  Yes ma……Waiting me?.”…….I sat near her….Instead to reply, she pat on my face…..

“When you are leaving back?” She asked in crushed voice ………

“ By tomorrow, infact today morning…….”..I replied …..” Ma…its so late….Please try to sleep……..”…..Sitting near her, I massaged her hands….She slipped into sleep……..

Downstairs,aunt and uncle were seen sitting near the dining table and waiting me….Sharing a seat next to her, I kept the head over her shoulder…….

“Mom, from when, I have been resting my head over your shoulders after each Kathakali practise/performance?”…I asked her slowly ……

“ From the age of five onwards….till now, at this moment” Caressing me, she answered…….She always resonated the love and care of my own mom…….

“ For the last fifteen years, how did you manage my increasing weight on your shoulders during hours long travels…?........

“Don’t you know , that a mom can even hold the earth too in her arms..? smiling at me , she replied…

“ Mom………..I love you……..”My voice began to crumble down……….

Without answering, turning the face towards me, she kissed on my forehead and replied…

”I miss you Aditya……Like your parents…….”

She held me cloz to her….. After few minutes,I asked her ….“ may I remove the costumes?”

“Have a refreshing bath too in hot water…Niladri tried four times in between……Is she upset?”

“ Might be………might be feeling unrest…….I am sure……..”

Time was around 2 early…….I moved upstairs to sleep……….

During the early morning, while on the way back to Bangalore,I planned to make a surprise to the principal at Lawrence- Ooty ……

Aunt was seen at pains….Cuddling me, she whispered…

” When kids grow up, they leave the nest….Then the old aged parents feel utterly bereft…Aditya, you have grown up to a man…Every day I wait for your phone call….Whenever I miss u because of any reasons, I feel restless….This house breaths only on your arrival….It will now start counting the days again for your next visit……I deeply miss you……..”Her face was distorted with pain of leaving….Yet she tried to hold the emotions intact ………..

I didn’t answer ….Instead, I was trasferring her parental love and care, to stay back in the path of life without any deviations………

“ Have you reached airport??….”…..the rustle of cell phone brought my mind back.It was from Niladri…………

“ Left Alwaye…. Will reach  in another 10 minutes “……..Time was around 4.25 am…..

Parking the car in the international terminal, after clearing the formalities, I waited for the flight in the departure lounge………and finally  reached Chennai office on time…………….

Though busy with the presentations and discussions,the early morning experience was vivid in my mind…I wished to watch another Kathakali night.….After reaching back to Cochin by night 8’O Clock, I drove towards the same venue..The temple…….but none was seen over there……..It was perfectly empty….The stage silently stayed alone …. I jumped towards it….went to the green room used for make up….Coming back to the stage, I stood without any movement…….. The crisscrossing of the winds alerted the imminent rain……..

This was the stage where the pathetic performance of Nalcharitha was played during the early morning while the classical version was once mesmerizingly narrated by me and Parvathy Nambissan together, 11 years back……….

From the neighboring house, a song flew through the air……I tried to keep my ears towards that direction……..

“ Tereliye hum hain jiye….honton ko siye

Tereliye hum hain jiye..har aansoo piye………

Dil Mein Magar Jalte Rahe, Chaahat Ke Diye

Tere Liye, Tere Liye..”

I lay down there………My hands gently scrambled over the stage, filling it with the dust and sand of those artists who were there till early morning………

“ How much I loved this master art………I still hold the irresistible passion and the feverent desire…….” My inner soul vibrated.…The eyes became wet……..Tears rolled down like cascades………..The cool breeze held the feelings together……….The song was repeated again in the air……….

"Zindagi Le Ke Aayehe Hai Beete Din Ki Kitaab

Ghere Hain Ab Humein Yaadein Be-Hisab"

Stretching both hands,I tried to regain the memories….Far way, deep in the heart, a boy was seen lulled into slumber by the profounding ragas of Kathakali….Carrying him in the hands, the majestic stage blossomed the enduring versatility of mudras and padams…..The impeccable performances miraculously brushed the heaven of silky rainbows in the deep hearts of the audience….The classical ex-pressions of mudras magically invited the minds to cross the threshold of the most sublime level of finest feelings….The stage always enthralled him..or he was always enthralled by the stage…Yet, holding the passion intact,in the darkness of cramps and dust,he crawled for a silent touch to it…But the stage slowly vanished…..When the dust finally settled, he was left alone….

Someone touched on my body…It was the old man who asked me something during the early morning…….

“ Who are you…..I saw you in the early morning too?…….” he suspected……..

I stood up…..

“ Who are you? “…….touching on my shoulder he asked me again…….

The frosty wind was too cool to manage….Yet,I removed the coat….then the tie…and finally two buttons on top of the shirt……

Looking at him, I replied….“ My answer will prompt you only to ask more questions…I am a stranger…..I lay down here because I love the stage…….Thanks for being here…….Am leaving……”without waiting for the reply, I walked towards the car………..

The old man curiously stared at me……..It was about to shower…….The wind blew again………and my long hair fluttered continuously…….

The song was repeated again………

Before entering the car,I turned back…….Standing alone, the stage desperately waited for some one who could blossom the lost romantic ragas and padams of Nalacharita again….My car moved slowly…….Like the blowing wind , my mind too was experiencing the shower of emotions and feelings………Feeling of Missing…..something…and somewhere………..The pada, which kindled me to reach back there,seemed flowing from somewhere again……

“ Kande njan nikade nine

kalivakku thava kette njan”

I was eager to hear that again….Entering the car, I played the CD of Nalacharita in the Car stereo….The immortal voice of Sankaran Embrathiri and Kalamandalom Hydrali fondled on the ears….“ Kande njan nikade nine…kalivakku thava kette njan”….The mind flew with the lingering memories…

It took another 30 minutes drive to reach back home….Parking the car,I walked towards the first floor….Near the upper living room, an antique was placed- a five feet wooden idol of King Nala- in the costumes of Kathakali.It was presented me by Parvathy during the house warming….The face of the idol was enlightened with such encompassing grace where one will continue to peel at it….I slowly moved towards it……In-between Niladri too reached there……Holding her in front of the idol, I briefed  the day’s incidents….Keeping her face in my hands,I tried to hide mine in her luxuriant hair…….

“ Flirting with emotions…..?”she asked silently

“ Might be……do u remb that pada… “ Kande njan nikade nine…kalivakku thava kette njan ?”

“ Yes….”

“ It is now flowing from somewhere….from somewhere……”I muttered……

“ Aha….”cuddling me passionately she sounded……..

I was into the 4^th night without any rest…..The cologne emanated from Niladri, encircled me….

Holding her with the left hand, I stretched the right one…and it finally touched on the face of King Nala…..I slowly caressing on it’s face……….The pada of romance was so audible to my ears……

  “Kande njan nikade nine…kalivakku thava kette njan ”

I was slowly falling into an unconscious state of mind….Few identified scenes began rushing in front…..The continuous journey of a young boy from different destinations to Kalamandalom, his tiresome trainings….the majestic and sensational stage….the heart throbbing performances, his silent weeping in the costume of Karna after missing the hatrik to a girl in the university youth festival….The days spent in the hospital bed struggling with cramps….And at last,the day of leaving the stage for ever….Keeping the passion with me,the boy slowly walked away ….I tried to touch him , I tried to reach out to him fast…But he slowly faded away and for ever…..I rushed through the ways he left…No where I could find him….Holding his passion close to chest, I waited..The expectation was feeble while the disappointment finally lead to the reality that he wouldn’t come back….The passionate boy has left, for ever leaving me, and, for ever leaving the resonating Kathakali Pada…” Kande njan nikade nine…kalivakku thava kette njan”………….

Aditya das menon…..

adityadasmenon@gmail.com