HANDS OF LOVE-18

It was April 2004….I reached Kannur after a gap of 3 months…As usual, checked in the Mascot Beach Resort during midnight.The long trip from Delhi to Chennai and from there to Calicut and finally to Cannore, made me so tired.Though the body suffered tiredness, mind was in the rejoicing mood of late night office binge pertaining to the beginning of the financial year.It was around early 1.30.Setting the mobile alarm to  morning 6.30, I tried  to hit the sack…

Though the mobile phone alarm rang continuously, the morning syndrome pulled me back to get up from bed…Ordering for a cup of tea, I planned to workout for the day’s appointment.Though wished to enjoy the sleep for another one hour, the sound of the room boy woke me up….

While sipping the tea, the eyes traversed through the news paper and finally glued to a painful photo….A man sat on a coat and his son, a seven year old boy was seen hugging him…I stared at the photo again…and again…..Read the news published along with which narrated the story of a young boy and his dad who was suffering from mental ailment…..

Balu, the seven year old boy was forced to sit alone in home to take care of his dad Ranjan-a psychiatric patient.The kid’s mother ran away with someone when he was two years old.Ranjan was working as a mechanic in the nearby automobile work shop.For him, the ailment was purely hereditary. Though his father and two elder brothers were suffering the same,they were better in managing it.But,Ranjan’s case  was the worst.Whenever his mind slipped out, the young kid was the sufferer by experiencing  the strange behavior including the cruel slams too.But, whenever Ranjan returned back to normality, he hugged the kid and loved him a lot…But it was unpredictable to understand in which mental state he was in normally…..Since the family was financially poor, the relatives too alienated from them.The neighbors and the local NGOs tried to help.Part of food were shared by the neighboring house which was not sufficent.Sometimes when Ranjan was in conscious stage, he obliged his kid ….Ate the food and took the tablets….But whenever his mind slipped out…he threw the food on the kid’s face too…The young boy surprisingly shared a bigger heart to understand his dad…..The report concluded with a plea to the reader to help the ill fated father and son….

It felt so much..I  thought to meet them and recommend to the NGOs known to me…..While sitting in the car, the report and photo made an eloquent appeal….

“ Abdulla”…I asked my driver….” U know the place Aailakkad?”

“ Sir it is around 10 kms from Kavumbhagam Desom”…

“ Means around 15 kms from Tellicherry?”

“ yes sir ”

“ Can we reach there in half an hour?….”

“ Yes sir ”

We maintained silence again ….Abdulla never spoke too much….He was very much familiar with all places….Being my trusted driver in North Kerala,normally my plans were informed him early, so that by the time I could reach the airport, Abdulla was ready with his cab.….

Since the news was published, we didn’t face much difficulty in locating the house…..Abdulla stopped the car near one junction…and made an enquiry.…..

Showing a narrow path,he confirmed “ Sir, we have to walk down this way for another two kms”….

I alighted from the car…The place looked like a 18^th century desert….No shops were seen at all…..Few local men were seen congregated and stared us.Among them, one fellow voluntarily approached us and offered help in leading us to the house…..Down the narrow path, we began to walk…

“ Some people came in the morning after reading the news”….The fellow’s voice sounded…...

“Though it was published only today, Ranjan has been suffering from this problem for the last 4 years……” After a pause he again continued…………..

“ The little boy’s condition is too pathetic….Bhaikka, an old aged man and his family is staying the next door.They are doing their best to take care of the little kid”..The fellow elucidated….

Me and Abdulla simply heard what the fellow communicated to us…..I continued to watch the whole area….Normally, finding a village in Kerala was a tough task…..But here, in this Aailakkad, all developments seemed to be in standstill from 18^th century itself….

“ We informed the local administration…. but where is the time for politicians?”…The fellow was in full flow….

The sun was blazing down that afternoon….The dust danced with the wind and created problems to me……

“ Is here any medical shop? Any grocery shop?  And any school?” I opened my mouth…

“Medical shop is located 5 kms away, grocery shop at–  3 kms distance and school- another 2 kms far”…

We walked down for another twenty minutes and finally  stopped in front of a small house…

“ Bhaikka….Bhaikka……….”..The fellow called someone loudly…...

On hearing the voice, an old aged man came out….

“ Bhaikka, they came to visit Ranjan and Balu…. take care ..I am leaving”………..

Asking Bhaikka to take care us, the fellow disappeared to somewhere…..

Bhaikka looked care worn…..Aged around 80-85 years,his eyes were partially closed and he found difficult to stand…Clasped to a walking stick,Bhaikka looked like a different figure altogether…Wearing a white dhoti,the old man doddered down the path…..

“ So you want to meet them?”…his voice crumbled.…….

Instead to reply, I simply gazed at him…..

“ Come with me….” Turning back, Bhaikka began to walking down the frontage of his house and moved to the next one….Then turned back and invited us…..

“ This is the house……….you can get in now ”

I wasted few minutes in searching for a calling bell….Though I knocked the door,no body opened that.…..Abdulla simply followed me….A frisson of excitement ran through my mind….Slowly I tried to open it. Suddenly somebody from inside pushed it back so hardly which gave an unexpected punch on my face….The sunglass fell down…Though the bang dazed me for a while, I recovered immediately.….

I stared at Bhaikka….With a gester,he pacified me and asked to try again …

I was much cautious then…..Suddenly a laughter emanated from inside…Preparing myself ready to face another attack,I pushed the door with  full force.….Strangely nothing happened at all…..A person was seen sitting on a coat and laughing loudly….On viewing us,he began to blustering and shouting at every one….Finally the bluster changed into bawl….A little boy who was seen sleeping on the cement floor  suddenly got up,hugged him and pleaded not to bawl…..Gradually, the man tried to contain..…..Finally,placing his face on a pillow,he lay down………The boy, without speaking anything, collected a glass of water from a mud pot and helped him to drink….The man , after drinking it, again lay down….I looked at  Bhaikka….

“ Don’t worry..this is usual here…You are very fortunate now..Normally he slams this little kid ….throws water on his face….”  Bhaikka fibbed ……

Approaching the boy,I held his hands…. He was wearing a trouser which was partly torned….The eyes envisaged the utter life’s experiences suffered in the whole mankind…..He smiled at me…The forlorn look and face shot through my heart and cut the top soul….

“Balu”………. I called him….

“ Yes “…His feeble sound came out…..

Without asking anything I looked at him for a moment…..

”U want to study?”….The innocent kid gave a chuckle in response to my query.…

His painful look continued to tug at my heartstrings……

“ He is  good in studies ..very much intelligent….” A female sounded from behind the kitchen wall..

“ Ie is my daughter- Sulfith…she teaches him when ever she gets time…” Bhaikka confirmed….

Ranjan fell in deep sleep….

“ It is so hard to digest the pain of this kid….Each drop of his tear burns like a volcano…and asks the GOD about his ill fate at this younger age….Who is responsible for this? His mom ran away with some one when he was at the age of two…Father is in this condition….when other kids go to school why he can’t? When others eat lavishly, why he can’t??…. at least for a time? Look at this….” Pointing on the reddish marks of slams over the body of the little kid,Bhaikka continued “ But you know, whenever Ranjan comes back to consciousness, he wants his little kid be along with him….he hugs him , kiss him a lot…..the dad never want to get separated from the son..the son too from the dad…But the pain begins when his mind slips out….Many organizations came here to take Balu along with them.No body has shown interest in Ranjan…But the kid never moves to anywhere and with any one leaving his dad alone….Sir, no body is here to help…The doctor confirmed that the disease is curable..But...I am living in the next hut with my wife, daughter Sulfith and son- Salim….whatever Salim could make in a day by doing the ordinary work, we share with Ranjan and his little kid…..and life moves on like that….But how long?”..Bhaikka bemoaned…………….

We listened enthralled to what he was saying…..

Opening a small box, he took a prescription ….

“He has to intake three different drugs daily..and regularly he takes only one…Since the other two are costly, we buy them only when some body  offers money…”

I checked that…..His current problem – The higher stage of agoraphobia was mentioned over it…..I was really in a cleft stick….The young kid sat on the coat where his dad slept…..

Abdulla handed over a packet of fruits and biscuits to Balu which we bought on the way …

“Open it and have something”..I told him……

“ No….., let my pappa too wake up”….He whispered in a low volume…

We moved out the house…..

“ Bhaikka”…….I called him…

“ Please keep some money with you….”…With out waiting for the reply, I handed over a cover and walked down to the narrow path….

Though I left Aailakkad, The little kid,Ranjan and Bhaikka were very much alive in my memories…..I wished to meet them in between....But coz of unexpected work and travel schedules I could not….. till 2006 June….

June 2006 - The month of torrential rains…..Once again I walked down the narrow path of Aaailakkad along with Abdulla…..

“ Abdulla,do u remember everything”.?.I asked him…

“ Yes sir..everything….”

We didn’t speak much….Memories were falling down scene by scene in our minds….I was so eager to meet them...Finally we stopped in front of Bhaikka’s home……….

“ Bhaikka…..Bhaikka…………”….My throat sounded loudly…………..

The old aged man - Bhaikka came out of the house….With much anxiety,I ran towards him….Bhaikka stared at me….He struggled a bit to recognize ..

“Bhaikka,this is me..Aditya….do u remember?…. I came here two years back to visit Ranjan and Balu…”I tried to help him out to recollect…..

After few seconds of deep pondering,Bhaikka replied…”Yes..I do remember you…..I remember your long hair….You gave me some money too”…

“Yes Bahikka….I am that person”….I answered immediately…….

“I want to meet Ranjan and Little kid- Balu”….

Bhaikka’s face dimmed suddenly…eyes wet…lips quivered continuously….He tried to mumble out something……

“Ranjan died a year back..Balu has joined with an orphanage at Coimbathore”….Bhaikka’s wife answered  from behind…..

Bhaikka’s face was distorted in agony…..Moving forward, he held my hands…..Grim silence brood over there…..

“ Where is Sulfith?” I asked calmly…

“ Got married and with her husband at Kasaragod ”….She breathed..

“ And Ranjan’s house”?

“Still here….It is waiting our little kid ….Two months back he came here along with a teacher..Infact he was admitted to a hospital due to asthma. When the doctor asked him about a wish , he wanted to  visit his home, spare a day in the room where he spent with his dad..So they both, kid and a teacher came here…Our kid stood for hours in the place where his dad was buried….then slept in the room along with the memories….We know he still lives with the memories of his dad who loved him, kissed him, hugged him whenever his mind was in conscious stage……” Her throat horsed continuously and she finally burst into tears…….

With much difficulty to manage the emotions,Abdulla walked towards Ranjan’s house….

“Sir… we are about to leave this place…We have sold our home to one of our relatives because our son needs money to go to gulf to find  better job .More over, we have borrowed money from local relatives to conduct Sulfith’s marriage.To pay back the debts, finally we sold it and bought a small one at Alakkode which is four hours travel from here.We will be leaving by August.Till now, we maintained Ranajn’s house.We wished to hand over it to our kid when he will come back.….But, when we leave from here ie too for ever, I don’t know what all will happen?” Bhaikka finally flatter out few words………….

I didn’t reply….

“Please come inside..and share some tea”….While cleaning the wet eyes Bhaikka’s wife requested…..

“I wish to visit Ranjan’s house first….”

I walked towards there….The house was maintained very neatly…Entering the veranda, I sat down on the bench…The silence was too grim to handle…. Yet the breath of a little kid echoed over there….After sparing few minutes,I moved back…My legs were too tired even to make a step….

“Can I get the address of Balu?”I asked Bhaikka’s wife…..

“Since me and Bhaikka are illiterate, it is available only with Salim and Sulfith.But Slaim too is out of station….” Bhaikka’s wife replied………

“I have bought two pairs of dress and some fruits for Balu….If you are here and if he reaches here to meet you before you leave this place, please hand over it…..”I requested Bhaikka……….

Handing over the clothes and fruits, I turned back and walked down the narrow path…Bhaikka, slowly proceeded me….We walked for around 100 meters… Far away, over the top of the hill the remaining structure of a very old building seemed embracing the skies…

“Bhaikka, Do you know that?”…I asked him….

“ Yes, that belonged to the Royal family..It was their rest house….My grand father was a loyal servant of them……but people belonged to the royal family left this land...for ever.............”

“Bhaikka,that was not the rest house alone…...Infact the members of the royal family  once used that as a place to meet, discuss, and settle issues of the local people…”

“Yes…I knew that also…But how do you know all those information? .........

I didn’t reply at all….Standing over there, I pointed the eyes towards those remains….The clouds were seen busy crisscrossing for a heavy down pour .The wind continuously blew heavily all over the place…My long hair fluttered in it…….

Touching me from behind, Bhaikka asked ….“Only few have visited here twice.What made u to reach here again?”

I turned back and smiled…Far away, though lost for ever, the memories of the erstwhile rulers of the land continued to shower the rich heritage and culture……

“Bhaikka,” Opening the mouth I whispered….”I want to give you some money …..Please don’t deny”

“ No…I don’t want….Last time also u gave money” …...

Holding his hands into mine , I replied…..“ You are destined to get some money now…If I could not hand over it to you, somebody would reach here to fulfill the fate…I pray to be blessed by availing that chance….and this is the only thing I can do now……Please,don’t hesitate…..Heavy down pour is imminent..So don’t follow me too  ….”

Bhaikka dithered over to accept it or not…..Closing the eyes, he stood like a statue……. I kept a cover in his hands….

Far away , standing in front of their “sold out” home,his wife witnessed everything…..

I threw a glance at him….His face slowly crumpled and he began to cry.He had been quiet delirious with leaving.We both knew, that was our second and final meeting….

Folding the hands, I made a final bye….then walked slowly the whole 2 kms to reach near the car….……

“ Sir, U haven’t handed over the  toy ”..Abdulla reminded me…

“ Abdulla, I will visit here again, the day when Balu will be back…..”

The heavy rain finally unleashed….I entered the car…Opening the small packet, took the toy…It was a small train which ran on two batteries..I switched on the key and it slowly moved with a noise….After switching off,I kept it back...Bending backwards, I rested the whole body weight on the back seat….Elsewhere a boy lives with the memories of his ill fated dad…Sitting alone, he enjoys the hugs , kiss and the brutal slams too when his dad’s mind slips out…Being alone,it is sure that he feels utterly bereft.His mind tempts to rush back to home, to spare a night again in the room along with his dad’s memories…..He is about to miss his Sulfith, Bhaikka and every one too…..and it will take years for him to reach back to home, if it would remain over there…..Till then, his toy will be kept safe with me………..Till then …….and……….Till then…………………

Aditya das menon.....................

adityadasmenon@gmail.com......

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