HANDS OF LOVE- PART -11 - "RADHAMADHAV"
Before moving to the blog,I wish to pen a brief about " Kathakali"
"Kathakali" is one among those greatest performing arts that requires years to learn it and birth to master.Yet some Gurus mastered this high profile art with hard work, dedication and grace.In Kathakali song is termed as Padam.
I dedicate this blog to: (Late) Dr Narayan Nambissan, Dr Devi Nambissan and Parvathy Nambissan.....
"Radhamadhav" begins here.....................
It was noon Dec 2005.I was sharing a lighter moment with Niladri in the living room.My cell sounded with it’s music…
“ Hey, Charu on line”…looking at the display Niladri answered loudly.
I took the phone.
“ Sanju whr r u?”
“ At home only…nice to hear your voice again Charu”
“ I am invited to attend the guruvandan organized by the Sree Sankara Kathakali Club on 31st of this month.They have confirmed your invitation too.If I could reach there by day after, can we?”
“ For sure..I was also planning to send a mail in this regard”
“ See You at airport day after..plz give to Nila”
Niladri, while talking to her, walked towards the kitchen….
Who is Charu or Parvathy Nambissan?
Memories rewinded back few years.
Venue was the university youth festival.Intense competition was going on.Loosers rushed with appeals which made the climate worse.The Kathakali contest was about to conclude.Since I was doing my final year graduation,it was my last performance on the university stage.Being the winner consecutively for the last two years, I wished to leave the stage with a hatrik.Since I played the roles of Krisha and Arjun during the past two years,I preferred to perform the role of Karna.While sitting in the make up room for final touches,Niladri Menon rushed in after maintaining the “ winner “ title again with her scintillating performance in bharatanatya.
“ Sanju..only two are left in the Kathakali contest.Parvathy Nambissan and You.She wants to perform before you and organizsers have accepted her request.”
"Then what, If they want to watch my performance, they have to wait”…Niladri Menon, the girl with mesmerizing beauty looked like a Goddess in the costumes of bharatanatya.Walking towards her, I whispered “ Niladri….You are looking amazingly..ie too in this costume.May I marry you now itself?”
“Sanju…don’t be so much naughty.Its not the time for romance.You are taking things with so much of ease which is too bad.At least you are in the costumes of Karna who never shared any secret affair.So please respect it.For Sure, it would be Parvathy, who is going to take a ride on you.I have noticed her performance in Kerala Kalamandalom many a times though I personally don’t know her. Am leaving..would be sitting in the front row…all the best..” Niladri left with a warning.
I tried to recollect the mudras, padams etc..” Perfect …everything..”
The second last contestant Parvathy Nambissan has already began her performance on the stage.Sitting in the make up room, I concentrated the song and music…
After half an hour, Niladri rushed in again and commented
“ Sanju..take care..she has just finished her performance as Panchali…scintillating ..You take atmost care..” she went back..
First call to my chest number “ 42” sounded from the mike.
I slowly moved to the stage…offered pranams…My last performance on the university stage began.
The mudras blossomed in tune with the padams.Auditorium was fully crowded.I slowly became Karna- The greatest warrior of the epic Mahabharata.My movements had increased….flow of mudras too…
In between, for a fraction of a second, two legs were discovered near the side drop.I stared at her.The chest number “ 41”confirmed that she was Parvathy Nambissan.That was the first eye to eye contact with her in my life.
Suddenly I lost bit of concentration that arrested the natural flow of mudras.Mistakes rallied one after other.My effort to coverup them made the condition worse.Sitting in the front row, Niladri became shocked.My background singers too.One among the 3 judges turned his attention from me.For the first time in the stage, the throne expected to be safe with me, had lost forever.Somehow I completed the allotted time and ran towards the makeup room.
I was very much sure of the result.Patting on my back, Dr Savithri Menon, the mother of Niladri tried to pacify.I became numb.In another 30 minutes time, the winner, Parvathy Nambissan, along with her mother Dr Devi Nambissan reached the makeup room.
“ Aditya” standing near me she whispered.
“ Am too sorry and beg a pardon.I never realized that my presence from the side drop would affect you.”
I didn’t reply.
“In many of the stages, I was deceived by your performance..Infact everyday I remember you in the costumes of Krishna, the role you had played beyond imagination in the Sri Sankara Kathakali club last year.Your performances as Arjun and Krishna provided me valuable insights in improving my own performance.So I always watched you scrupulously whenever you arrive to play in and around my vicinity.Aditya, I came here not to attend the contest only but to watch you close to me …so close to me..Am sorry”.
I gazed at her.
“You continuously motivate me..I request your blessings”
Parvathy Nambissan, the new university winner in Kathakali, in the costumes of Panchali, tried to bend down to touch my legs.That was really a strange experience.Before she could touch my legs, I held her folded hands and blessed.Tears gushed out from the eyes of Parvathy.
After requesting my uncle Dr Rama Varma Raja to prepare the baggages, I walked towards the stage again in the costumes of Karna.It looked like another Kurukshetra after the war.The dust hadn’t settled yet.Bending down, I touched my forehead on the stage and offered final pranams, then proceeded towards the main gate where my brother Harsh Das Menon waited for me.In 5 minutes time Parvathy’s car went past us.Raising the hands, she said bye.
That was the first meeting with Charu or Parvathy Nambissan.In short time, she became an integral part in the company of me and Niladri.Together we had performed in many stages as Arjun and Panchali, Nala and Damayanthi etc….
Time moved fast.We both passed out MBA from prestigious institutions .Charu preferred HR in software, and I moved toMedia.Niladri continued with her reserch.The continuous meetings among us stopped when Charu finally shifted to Mumbai after the death of her father.Since she did not have any siblings, her mom too moved with her.Sitting in different places of the nation, we three, cherished the loving and nostalgic memories.In between I got married to Niladri.But even after repeated requests, Charu continued to deny marriage for reasons unknown to me.
It was in June 2004, I received a phone call from her mother.I was at Delhi.Charu met with a serious accident while coming bk from the office in the early hours and left leg got amputed.Crest fallen, I rushed to Mumbai.Charu was in unconscious stage while I watched her through the ICU window.….
After the incident, She came only once to Cochin and that was on 2005 August….
“So..wht’s yar plan ?”..Continuous flow of memories stopped abruptly on hearing the voice of Nila..She was excited on Charu’s arrival….
“Let her reach here”.
On 27th of Dec 2005, Charu came back to Cochin again.While driving down from the airport, she brizzled “ Sanju….am leaving to US by next March..probs for a long tenure…I doubt whether mom could manage the climate…”
Once again the meeting between me, Nila and Charu brought back a lot of emotions..By 9 in the night, me and Charu drove towards Sri Sankara Kathakali Club to attend the guruvandan.Almost all performing Gurus were present over there.Many gathered us. Since Charu’s accident was already known to all, nobody touched that part.The guruvandan started with a short performance by two young kids…After that the real kathakali began.The story was “ nalacharitham ( Story of Nala )”…The craze was very much visible.Invitees were slowly raised to the sheer enjoyment of the romance between Nala and Damayanthi...
“ kande njan nikade nine
kalivakku thava kette njan”
( Hey sweet girl, not only I have seen you but heard your mischievous voice too)..from there, the electrifying romance blossoms, which was once performed by us together in many stages.Charu gradually, became emotional and restless….Time was around 1.30 early morning….
“ Sanju..shall we go for a walk..I find it too diff to sit here”
“ But how can we go for a walk at this time?”
“ No Sanju..Plz I wish to walk..” Her voice became determined and she stood up….Some of the audience turned their attention towards us..
Holding on her hands, I came out of the hall.That was a full moon night..Moon looked like Krishna in Vrindavan and Stars as Gopies, sharing the celestial and never ending experience of rasleela.Also, that was the beginning of mesmerizing and colourful 3rd yama. The climate was too chilled and the dew drops touched the delicate skin to share the freezy yet profounding feelings.Nature replicated another Damayanthi waiting Nala impatiently to explore the explosive sensual experience.Since Charu had a difficulty to move fast,I kept my left arm over her shoulder to support..We walked for around 300 meters..The electrifying romantic ragas and padams flown through mike continued to float on the delicate tissues of the ears.We better knew what was going on the stage….
Slowly and steadily we walked down the empty street.
“ Sanju….what leads the life?” Charu asked me calmly.
“Passion..passion only….and dream is the mother of passion”
“ If dream dies, ie passion dies?”
" There is no death for dream..wht ever we think whether it is positive or not, it is a dream only.Dream is immortal and we ppl leave the world keeping it alone”
“ But if we reach a stage of passionless , dreamless?”
“Then we have to redefine it….otherwise one might tend to fall into negative side”
Charu kept silence for a minute….Then in chocked voice she brizzled.
“Sanju….. am at that stage…dreamless…passionless……alone….”
“Why can’t u marry? I don’t know the reasons, why can’t u redifne your dreams, and passion with the marriage…?
Etched with pain, she continued…“For me life is another stage programme of continuous scuffle with fate.Lost my brother when I was a kid, lost dad too when I finished my education, my leg got amputed when I thought of clubbing carrier with kathakali….Though it is wrong, meaningless and guilt to even think and dream, one person passionates me in life”
“Who is that? Haven’t you open up your passion to him? When this has happened ? During your MBA days?”
“He became my passion even before my MBA days…and still he is my passion….. one and only passion”
“ Who is that…?.”
Charu suddenly stopped.Hugging me strongly she whispered” Sanju I miss u a lot . … I miss Niladri too…..”
The next day, while returning to airport, she sang a song very silently.
“Enthe nee Krishna enikkenthe thannilla, krishnathulasi kathirayi ee janmam….
( Hey Krishna why haven’t you made this life to a Tulsi leaf? ).
“ Sanju I don’t know when should I meet you again”
“So leaving us for a long time?” with a smile I asked her
“How can I leave of you and Niladri for ever?.” She replied gently . Her eyes closed and she tried to control the escalating emotions.
Before entering the departure launch, Charu turned back and gazed at me..I smiled but Charu did not respond.
It was on 2007 Jan 12th.I was driving down from Tellicherry with Niladri.Charu called over the mob .After a brief talk, Niladri handed over cell to me…
“ Hey where r u?”
“ London, Came here yes day to rest for a week.Now with your brother Harsh”.I tried to contact you on Dec 31st but u seemed to be out of station”
“ Was at Hongkong with Nila”
“Shorten the full long hair? Harsh told me.Who forced you to do so? Any way that was so strange.”
I did not answer.
For a minute silence brood over.Then she whispered.
“ Am not feeling well.Though wished to roam here, not in a mood to move out….Can you plz switch on that Kathakali pada” Ajitha Hare” ?
“ Yes ”….
I inserted the cd into the player and asked Niladri to keep the cell near the speaker….
Memories rushed few years back to Payyannur kathakali club for another “guruvandan”…..On the stage it was Kuchela ( Sudama- Krishna’s friend ) and Lord Krishna only.Infact it was a beautiful girl who was in the costumes of Kuchela.I haven’t heard till today about a girl in the costumes of Kuchela.But the Gurus who gathered over there wanted her to play that particular role.The role of Krishna was performed by a long haired boy….The auditorium was full..The girl and boy once again carried the highest level of performance…Kuchela humbly explained Krishna about his poverty,pain and difficulties in life….Instead of romanticism, the mood was of compassion and kindness…Nobody including the girl and boy had realized that, that was their final performance together in life…The girl left the stage forever after amputing her leg…The boy too said a bye after experiencing the worst harmstring injury in his life……Though left the world, the immortal voice of Kalamandalom Venmai Haridas once sounded from that stage, and once again from the CD player in the car.
“ Ajitha hare Jaya…Madhava Vishno
Ajamukha deva natha....
Vijaya sarathey sadhu dwijanonnu parayunnu...
Paladinamayi njnum balabhrdanuja nine
Nalla nalamodu kanmathinuu kaliyalle ruchikkunnu
Kaladosham kondum kamam sadhichatillle”
“Hey prabhu,the incarnation of Vishnu,the master of success and victory, may this poor friend narrate about my life to you?.Hey brother of Balabhdra,Though I have been thinking of meeting you,because of so many reasons it got delayed.Hey Krishna, till yet,I haven’t achieved any of my material desires …and any of my material desires…..”
adityadasmenon@gmail.com
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