HOL-9 -VRINDAVAN – THE PARADISE LOST
It was a chilled morning.December 12 th 2005, Mumbai airport.The Dubai- Mumbai- Cochin flight was almost full.After an hour of halt, the jet continued the journey to the final destination.The boy took the “ Lalitha Sahasra Nama “ text ,began reciting it. His long hair were kept coiffed so immaculately.He was watched by a lady.Sitting near him, for her, that was a different experience.In 30 minutes, finishing the prayers, he opened the bag and kept the book safe.
“ Hai..nice experience..isn’t it?” the lady , with a smile asked him.
He simply smiled.
“What’s yar name, and where do you belong to ? You seem to be so much spiritual?”
“Am Aditya…Aditya Das Menon…from Cochin .and am trying to blend spirituality and romanticism together” with a smile I answered.
“ Oh…that is beautiful…”
Staring at me she continued “ who is your father ?”
“Satya Das Menon”
“Aditya, though I travel a lot , I haven’t met anybody with similar attitude.But how best can you blend spirituality and romanticism?”
Mom..I believe true romanticism is an important attribute heart looks for, like spirituality to mind.”
For a while she was lost in thougts.…..Her eyes became misty….
“Aditya…am Maya…Maya Varma and I have a similar friend who too have long hairs like you…..But…” drop of tear wetted her cheek….
“Then?”
“I will tell you about my romantic - spiritual friend – “Krishna”
“The story happened 20 years back, ie when I was at the age of 37.I sent a reply for an advt for a penfriend.I don’t know what made me to take such a strange decision.But I did it.In another 4 days time I got the reply from my Krisha.
He was at the age of 39 , got married , blessed with a boy , settled at Cochin and was working as an Officer with Merchant Navy.He wrote of spirituality in the first letter that kindled a lot of interest .During that time my mental state was much different from normal.
Aditya, I was born to a couple who failed to love each other.Papa and mom kept their animosity till the end that made my whole childhood in turmoil.I wanted a shelter of love.But being much aware of my growing physical beauty, I continued to live under my quarrelsome parents till got married.My marriage was another failure.Being myself an engineer, I thought my engineer husband would provide happiness and joy.Instead he was indifferent to me.Loosing mental grip over the uncontrollable lust for money, my husband failed to love and care.I thought he would stop being indifferent to me when I delivered a girl.But he continued with preoccupation with money.Many a times, I thought of applying for a divorce but coz of my baby , I did not.I started hating him and finally stopped putting sindoor on my forehead.Aditya , I met Krishna at that juncture.
Maya paused for few minutes………..
The exchange of letters between us increased.To avoid suspicion, he sent letters to my office and me , to his post box.All the letters of Krishna glorified the true essence of spirituality and romanticism.He convinced me to recite
“ Lalitha sahasra nama” daily.
Krishna’s arrival to my life made a wholesome change.My mind dwelled in happiness from bitterness.I started praying continuously…….faced life with better mental equanimity.We began telephone contacts.A word from him was enough for me to ecstacic.whenever he left Cochin for sailing, I realized how dark was my life without hearing his voice.Enveloped in the pain of parting,I continued my prayers to provide safety and early arrival of my GOD, lover- Krishna.You know Aditya, everytime whenever I think of Krishna, even now,I have been continuously blessed with a GOD’s photo either in TV or in Bus or from Somewhere which confirms that I am born to him and to him only.
Time went by fast.It was during the 3rd year of our secret love,to control the growing aggressive feelings and emotions,we planned to stop daily contacts but promised to share the wishes through news paper on every new year which must be considered as the continuation of our love.Krishna further agreed that he would reach my home with his wife on January 2006 to take me along with them.ie after 18 years from then.In between, I moved to Dubai after getting a job with Etisalath as a charted engineer.I worked there for 17 years .My family was also with me.Like always, husband did not work at all.Daughter completed engineering, got married and now settled in Newzealnad.Forutnately she got a loving husband who is the son of one of my close confidants.My husband came back to India 6 months back and now his job is spirituality.I would say that is his job.He moves from one temple to another to find love and grace from GOD while fails to love and understand me.
Me and Krishna exchanged greetings through news paper on every new year day till last January.We continue to love each other and for sure, am confident that my Krishna would be there.Aditya…U know….How much I love him? I can’t explain.Without him what would have been my life? The most interesting part is that we haven’t met yet.Neither exchanged the photos too.Since I was at Trichur and he was at Cochin, meeting was not at all an issue.But we continued our love from afar.Thoroughout my 26 years of married life, I obeyed my husband though I received nothing back. I haven’t done anything against his wish except my association with Krishna.
She stopped for a while and then continued.
Aditya,now I have completed responsibility as a mother and as a wife. Today is December 12 th and I have resigned job after 18 years of service.This is my return journey from Dubai.Am sure that my Krishna would be waiting me to catch my hands on Jan1st 2006. Means, exactly 20th day from today.For the last many years, each day has been so much waiting for me and when am approaching Jan 1 st, the day seems to be of more lengthier. But Aditya…I don’t have much wish with Krisha too.Coz he is living with a family.Why should I enter there, cause disturbance to him? I have a small wish that I love to see him from Kudajathri, Chant Lalitha sahara nama along with him and want to place my head and talk to him without words. I still don’t know whether this would become a reality . But I firmly believe that my Krishna will make it happen.I need him for a moment just for a moment and if this happens, I can live my balance life peacefully in any of the ashram till life attains salvation.
Aditya ..I became so much excited on watching you chanting Lalitha sahasra nama and you too have long hair like my Krishna.ie why I had a chinwag though we both are strangers.But Lalitha sahasra nama and long hairs made me to suspect that you are Krishna’s son .ie why I asked your father’s name.
Mayavarma closed the eyes.Tears gushed out.I was numb for a moment…but wanted to ask her a question that if Krishna would not appear on Jan 1st what would happen? Somehow,I did not.The incident looked like a cliffhanger.
The flight reached Cochin.After saying bye, she proceeded towards Trichur and me to home.
I shared my strange experience with my wife Niladri das menon.She became emotional and disappointed for not collecting the address of Maya..Days moved fast.
It was on October 2006,Deeevali was round the corner.Me, Niadri and our Kid Lalith sooryaa went to Guruvayoor Sri Krishna Temple for the darsan.After the morning darshan, we came back to the room on the 3rd floor of the hotel.I thought of taking a casual walk while Niladri and lalith wanted to rest.Moving out of the room, I walked towards the lift.It reached 3 rd floor .Some residents alighted there .Among them,I could see a lady in typical Kerala dress walking slowly towards a room.In one moment I recognized her. With much excitement I called loudly….
“ Mom..Maya Varmaaaa………….”
She turned back.
“ Aditya” with a surprise she answered.
I felt very happy,… moved to her and held her hand….
“ Mom where is Krishna”?
“Come on Aditya..” she invited me to her room.….
I rushed to my room, brought Niladri and Lalith.A young man was seen sitting with another lady around 58…But Krishna was not seen there…
“Aditya”…with a sob, Maya continued…”Our Krishna has gone for ever..now he lives in our memories”.Her face distorted in agony and loss.
That was a terrible shock ………
Krishna Died during the month of October 2005 due to cardiac failure .Infact he was much prepared to face the worst.Sharing his love story with Devi- his wife and Son- Dhruv at death bed , Krishna convinced them to take care Maya if she would agree to live along with them.Understanding him,the family did chime with his final wish.Krishna closed eyes forever on October 25 th 2005, just 66 days were left when he could meet his lover for the first time in life.On 1st January 2006, it was Dhruv and Devi, who brought Maya along with them.
“ Aditya….our lives go on without him…but how unfortunate am I.I haven’t seen my Krishna yet and I am left just with the memory of his sound ….but” Visibly devasated,Maya could not complete words..Devi stood up and held her hands..
“ Till yet she hasn’t recovered fully”…Devi said in a choked voice
“ My Krishna has given me a companion for the old age..Son is leaving back to US by next week…..and this is his second visit to home during the last 11 months.He came here last week of December to fulfill the wish of dad , again made this visit to perform the pilgrimage with us and about to go back.Aditya, memories will be difficult to handle when we are alone…My husband might have foreseen that .i.e. why he gave me Maya to share my remaining days.Now She has become an integral part of me”.Devi's face was etched with pain.
The atmosphere was crushed in pain and loss…Grim silence did brood over
“ Aditya…we are about to leave to Mookambika and Kudajadri and will be back to Tripoonithura by next Sunday.It is good that we met now and whenever time permits, Please do visit our “ Vrindavan ” at Tripoonithura .Let It helps my moms to stay stable” Dhruv brizzled
The experience was heartrending….We accompanied them up to the hotel reception, the son and two moms entered the car and it slowly moved……
At pains, we stood there for sometime….By next early morning they could reach the top of Kudajadri Hills...But where is Krishna? and how Mayavarma can fulfill her small dream of meeting him there and chant Lalitha sahasra nama with him? Hope she could find solace by realizing the SUNGOD as Krishna and offering the prayers and chants to him.
The chimes from the temple confirmed the completion of noon poojas……
Far away,their white Honda City was still visible …..That was another journey with the living soul of Krishna…and for sure, their lives would be so incomplete, so desolate with their son going back.They would be left just with the memories of Krishna. Memories of a different sort to each of them.
Holding the hands of Niladri and Lalith,I moved towards the temple….Had a darsan from outside..Closed my eyes.From somewhere, the magical sound of flute flew and entered my ears.Was it from the most mischievous boy of Vrindavan?
“Hey Paramatma….how long will you play with our sorrows and pains? And how long will you mesmerize with your magical flute?"
The music seemed to be flown from a nearby distance.With family,I stretched towards that direction.I knew pretty well that Vrindavan was far away..But the celestial music was so close..so close to my ears….and my own ears……………….
Aditya Das Menon
Niladri Das Menon
Lalith Sooryaa
adityadasmenon@gmail.com
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